Freedom of Religion
Mrs. Wylie Coyote told her husband in no uncertain terms she didn’t care what religion he had joined, he didn’t get to have any extra wives, no matter what the Constitution said about freedom of religion . .
Invitation Declined
Everyone agreed–The Donald looked like a no-compromise sort of guy, even relaxing in his pool–and Megyn from the Fox Network declined to join him in the pool . . .
A Tattoo?
Elton (pictured) was well educated; he had a degree in Political Science from the University of Phoenix (on line); he knew the words to all of the Lady GaGa songs, and he did quite well with them at Karaoke night. But he was a flop with chicks–he couldn’t get a date to save his life. He wondered if getting a tattoo might help as part of an extreme makeover. . .
Oh Deer!
Ida, on hearing that the U S would open an embassy in Havana, applied for a job as a diplomat, but was told that the probable response to meeting her would be “Oh Deer,” and that didn’t translate well into Cuban Spanish, possibly causing uncomfortable moments. The State Department suggested she should apply at Interior, where her “Oh Deer” could go quite well with the news of shrinking budgets for Interior to cover shortfalls for the Affordable Care Act.
Not Covered
When the pool guy came to perform the usual services provided under the standard pool maintenance contract, he had to inform Belinda that alligator removal and relocation was not part of the package, even if the gator had eaten Fifi, the cockapoo, and the cat . . .
Humble Beginnings
When the new presidential candidate from Arizona said he came from humble beginnings–a hole in the wall–he wasn’t kidding; however, some doubted his story about being raised by wolves, since they had been declared extinct in Arizona some years before his birth . . .