Didn’t Happen
Alvin was disappointed; his spiritual adviser told him if he buried his head in the sand during the eclipse and prayed, he would win the Powerball jackpot. Didn’t happen . . .
Thenk Yew Verra Much
Preparing for the “Elvis Look-alike Open Mike Night,” Steve practiced his bow and his “thenk yew verra much” sign-off. How could it get any better than that?
Fake News
When CNN reported that Donald Trump was opening a Glacier Park resort with yodeling bellboys and waitstaff, he tweeted “#fakenews, only the waitstaff would yodel . . .”
July 4th Contest
New York and Nathan’s had their July 4th Hot Dog Eating contest, so not to be outdone, Texas had its Fresh Fish eating contest. Clyde was running into trouble with #38 . . .
Line Dancing
Ever popular in Texas, Line Dancing was having a little bit of a tough time getting traction in L. A. or NY NY; go figure . . .
Elegance (Sometimes)
Though elegant in their “Dancing With The Stars” appearance, the girls’ true nature came out at the all you can eat seafood buffet . . .