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Gary (pictured) had had a tough night; first he heard that wrestling was fake, then that Lady Gaga was really a guy, that Oprah was retiring, and that Michael Jackson wasn't really dead but doing charity work in Haiti. The final straw had been the news report that Mike Pence had run off with Madonna and been elected to be prime minister of Israel. It seemed as though he was living in a web of deceit . . .
Elvis Look-alike?
When the new guy showed up in gold, up everyone wondered–Elvis impersonator? Liberace look-alike? Michael Jackson (not Prince, no purple) or the lost heir of the Romanovs . . .?
No Water Shortage
California had a water shortage and lots of thirsty people–Montana had lots of water and not all that many people. Governor Brown of California, along with George Clooney, Barbra Streisand, Lady GaGa and the Michael Jackson heirs are lobbying the president to use an executive order to annex Montana as a new county and water source for a thirsty California.
Life Expectancy
Twyla Sue knew, without doubt, she was a beauty and destine to go places, but she was concerned that such a large percentage of beautiful people seemed to die early. Marylin Monroe, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Bob Marley, John Belushi and Natalie Wood, all gone before their time. Yet the President, in spite of her repeated letters and emails, had done nothing to get the Surgeon General to look into greater longevity for the beautiful people . . .
Forever Young
Wayne had thought it terribly unfair that only big time personalities like Cher and Michael Jackson could afford the cost of extensive cosmetic surgery and Botox to keep looking young. Then he found a Botox at Home kit on line that he could administer himself. He did end up with much smoother skin, but wondered if perhaps he had injected just a bit more than was actually needed . . . . . David, Sf.G.