Homeless
Wolf Spiders like Elsie don’t spin webs and so are homeless by most standards. This usually didn’t bother Elsie except when she had to lug the kids around in an egg sac. It was hard to find a date even on those Internet dating sites . . .
Licorice Lover
Herman (pictured, not the “German”) loved licorice, but it turned his tongue black on a regular basis. This occasioned no end of teasing from friends and family, and his girlfriend wouldn’t kiss him when he had black tongue; she suggested he switch to chocolate, pointing out that a) it didn’t discolor his tongue, and b) chocolate, along with beer and pizza, was one of the three essential food groups . . .
Just Grin and Bear It
Bruce (pictured) had always wanted to be a bear; in fact, until he went to school and learned otherwise, he really did think he was a bear. After reading a self help book that kept repeating, “You can be what you want to be if you want it bad enough,” Bruce tried to do the bear-like thing & catch fish for dinner. He thought his owner empowered him when he said to “just grin and bear it . . .”
Deodorant Not Working
In spite of those TV commercials’ promises, after a quick sniff, Gi Gi was pretty sure her deodorant was not working, which probably explained her mate’s absence for the last few days . . .
Safety Net
Rudy’s high wire circus act went well, but he really liked knowing that the safety net was down there . . .
Daytime TV Madness
The pet psychiatrist had bad news; Buttercup had a bad case of Daytime TV Madness. She would have to go cold turkey no matter how hard it seemed; she couldn’t watch TV–not even the 10:00 News before bed . . .