Elton (pictured) was well educated; he had a degree in Political Science from the University of Phoenix (on line), he knew the words to all of the Lady GaGa songs, and he did quite well with them at Karaoke night. But he was a flop with chicks–he couldn’t get a date to save his life. He wondered if getting a tattoo might help as part of an extreme makeover . . .
Kermit (pictured), for privacy reasons, had been hesitant to submit to the full body scan; his friends told him that, in spite of promises from TSA that the images would be quickly destroyed and never shared or made public, Kermit would be on You Tube in minutes. And thus, Kermit, famous Sesame Street legend, was not at all surprised when minutes after landing at his destination he was texted with a link to YouTube featuring–yup, good ol’ Kermit in full color. His only question was, what would Lady Gaga have done?
California had a water shortage and lots of thirsty people–Montana had lots of water and not all that many people. Governor Brown of California, along with George Clooney, Barbra Streisand, Lady GaGa and the Michael Jackson heirs are lobbying the president to use an executive order to annex Montana as a new county and water source for a thirsty California.
Elton (pictured) was well educated; he had a degree in Political Science from the University of Phoenix (on line); he knew the words to all of the Lady GaGa songs, and he did quite well with them at Karaoke night. But he was a flop with chicks–he couldn’t get a date to save his life. He wondered if getting a tattoo might help as part of an extreme makeover. . .
David, thinking outside the box, tried to figure out how to ship Texas’ excess flood water to California. Gov. Brown was receptive, but his constituency wanted to know if it was vegan; had it crossed borders legally; would it need Government help once it arrived, and did it qualify for ObamaCare? The nuts & bolts part–how to physically get it there–seemed to be lost somehow. The Libs worried a water pipeline might be used to move Texas oil to California. And who would they name it after–George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Cher, Lady Gaga? Gov. Brown was open, but the Californians were firm–NO BUSH . . .!
Sadly, Lake Waubesa in McFarland, Wisconsin missed hosting Lady Gaga and her fiance’s first polar bear ice water plunge. It seems that Lake Waubesa was covered with a solid sheet of ice, unlike Lake Michigan in Chicago (where the deed happened), which had ice chunks but wasn’t completely frozen. None of the ice fisherman on Lake Waubesa could drill a hole big enough for the Lady to plunge in on her boy friend’s back, much less get back out . . .
