Budget Fireworks
911 was getting a lot of calls from folks fearing the bright lights might be nuclear holocaust or worse–but no, they were told, it’s just Congress arguing over the budget . . .
All Bets Off
With Congress and the President at loggerheads over the budget and increasing the debt limit, all of the National Parks had been closed. Did that mean that that Jerome and his crew of Sandhill Crane buddies couldn’t land or feed at the National Migratory Waterfowl Refuge, their usual wintering place? It seemed that until the issue was resolved, all bets were off, and they might have to make reservations at Motel 6; would Tom Bodette still leave the light on for them? . . . . David, Sf.G.
Stayin’ Alive
Bryan had waited too long; he hadn’t signed up for his food stamps before the wrangling of the political parties shut down or slowed down some facets of government. No Cheetos, pop tarts, or frozen pizza till it was over; back to hunting down and eating insects. The local news quoted his congressman as saying, “It will be over soon, don’t let it bug you…” . . . . David, Sf.G.
End of the Rainbow
Within minutes of spotting the double rainbow, NOAA experts showed up to study the phenomenon, the CIA came to make sure it wasn’t some spy device or leak of national security, the IRS came to see who, if anyone, found the pot(s) of gold at the end of the rainbow(s) to make sure the pot(s) of gold/rainbow tax was paid (not long term capital gains, ordinary income), a delegation from Congress came to see if the pots of gold could be used to balance the budget, and Al Gore came to explain that he invented rainbows, so any gold would be his. Finally, the President came to announce that there would be no permits issued for using rainbows as alternative fuel, and Eric Holder said since this was Texas, they would be suing either Texas or the rainbows, it wasn’t clear. All in all, it was a busy morning . . . . David, Sf.G.
On the Fence
Like most of his fellow members of Congress, Chuck was more interested in getting reelected than being locked into an ideology that may be controversial. But sometimes, depending on how the wind was blowing, he found it didn’t hurt to stick his neck out and cooperate with the other side. It seemed, though, sending personal, explicit E-mails and photos, even if anatomically correct, should also be avoided. . . . David, Sf.G.
Being Blonde
For some reason Patty couldn’t understand, being blonde had always been equated with “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and similar ideas. She didn’t have any trouble making a living though; in fact, she was thinking of running for political office–perhaps she could chair the Congressional Committee on Blonde Affairs.. . . . . David, Sf.G.