A selection of Various Birds
Get Your Head On Straight
Juney couldn’t help it; she was a gawker, a rubbernecker, always turning around to look at something. This drove her husband, Ken, nuts. “Juney,” he said, “keep focused, get your head on straight, you’ll get run over by a car if you don’t quit gawking.” . . . . David, Sf.G.
Why the Long Face?
Bonnie’s friends couldn’t help but ask, “You’re a beautiful blonde; you have just been elected Prom Queen, so why the long face?”. . . . David, Sf.G.
Does This Make My Butt Look Big?
Lilly (pictured, left) was pretty sure she was not getting a straight answer from her boyfriend James (right, beak open) to the question, “Does this make my butt look big?” He said he loved her, and he spoke of her beautiful eyes, but somehow never addressed the original question. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Skinny Legs
Eddy had to face it: he had skinny legs. No matter what he did–hundreds of reps on the leg press, high protein drinks, squats, or jogging miles on the beach–he was never going to have legs like the NFL linebackers or like J. J. Watt . . . . David, Sf.G.
Skipping Lunch
Will was a dreamer, and day dreaming often made him lose track of hours at a time. Earlier today, the water was so still that he could see his reflection, and he kept trying to picture himself in the starring role of some new Animal Planet, Nature, or Nat Geo reality series featuring the complex lives of, well, birds like himself, and their interactions with other creatures–you know, the “Bird Whisperer”. Once he realized he had missed lunch with his day dreaming, he figured, “What the heck, let’s skip lunch and go straight to dinner. I’ll have my people call your people when I’ve made reservations.” . . . . . David, Sf.G.
Being Blonde
For some reason Patty couldn’t understand, being blonde had always been equated with “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” and similar ideas. She didn’t have any trouble making a living though; in fact, she was thinking of running for political office–perhaps she could chair the Congressional Committee on Blonde Affairs.. . . . . David, Sf.G.