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Gary (pictured) had had a tough night; first he heard that wrestling was fake, then that Lady Gaga was really a guy, that Oprah was retiring, and that Michael Jackson wasn't really dead but doing charity work in Haiti. The final straw had been the news report that Mike Pence had run off with Madonna and been elected to be prime minister of Israel. It seemed as though he was living in a web of deceit . . .
A Real Flare
Al Gore, George Clooney, and Madonna had hired a new photographer to help document claims that “Big Oil” (or, as they say in Texas, the “Awl Bidniss”) was contributing to global warming. They had to acknowledge he had a real flare for the work . . .
Global Warming
Trying to get into the swing of things in preparation for taking over his Uncle Phil’s job ( The weather forecasting ground hog from Pennsylvania) when the old guy retired, Bruce LaVerne, from upper Manhattan, NY NY, had gone to bed last fall for a good winter’s nap. Judging by the weather, either the President, Al Gore, Michael Moore and Madonna were right about global warming, or he had badly overslept . . .
Frizzy
First it had been Madonna, then Pink and Lady Gaga, now Frizzy thought she would have a go at the pop music circuit. Her first single hit, “Howl like a she wolf,” while short on actual lyrics, carried with it with raw emotion of the head back, wide-open-mouth canine howl at the moon that some claimed she borrowed from Texas Democratic Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee when complaining about George W. Bush . . .
Fading Fast
While on site checking out the scenery for a film to be shot on the Texas Gulf Coast, Madonna and Lady Gaga were watching a stunning Gulf Coast sunset when Madonna said to Lady Gaga, “It seems like being on top of the world, being famous and popular, but take it from me, girl, it’s fading faster than you can imagine.”
Mockery
Timothy, a true mockingbird, could imitate anyone, Vladimir Putin, Ronald Reagan, Billy Mays, Madonna, any of the British royals, Lady Gaga . . . anyone. He was growing frantic, though; if he didn’t develop a style of his own, he’d be condemned to B list hotel lounges doing Elvis, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Jones requests for drunk tourists and road warriors for the rest of his life . . .