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With only mullet and croakers in sight and no Pizza on the horizon, Howie was thinking that once again there was something fishy going on with the caterers . . .
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Everyone has heard of the legendary giant alligator(s) that live in the NY NY sewer system, so to maintain credibility, Mayor de Blasio hired Oscar from NOLA with a promise of (again, legendary) huge rats and the occasional Republican. Yet here on New Year's Day, not only were there no rats--politicians or otherwise--there wasn't even a slice of legendary NY NY pizza . . .
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When his wife suggested they quit the Keto Diet and include chocolate, pizza and beer (the three essential food groups), Mikey's response was not ambiguous in any way . . .
Licorice Lover
Herman (pictured, not the “German”) loved licorice, but it turned his tongue black on a regular basis. This occasioned no end of teasing from friends and family, and his girlfriend wouldn’t kiss him when he had black tongue; she suggested he switch to chocolate, pointing out that a) it didn’t discolor his tongue, and b) chocolate, along with beer and pizza, was one of the three essential food groups . . .
Work of Art
Turns out Janice wasn’t much of a painter, not in oils, acrylics or water colors, not in classical, impressionist, or cubism. When her art teacher saw the homemade pizza she brought for lunch, he suggested perhaps she should consider an art form other than paint . . .
Wrong Address
Eugene, the delivery guy (known as a bit of a bully), shouted, “What do you mean, you didn’t order take out fish and chips?” But when he checked his iPhone, he had to apologize; he was in fact on the wrong block . . .