Since the President’s wife began trying to change everybody’s diet to include more veggies, fruit and fiber, Paul’s wife had been after him to eat fewer rodents and try some broccoli or rutabagas. Paul could see it now, cruising with the boys on a Saturday afternoon, eating broccoli with ranch dip, drinking herbal tea while all the guys jeered and ate Buffalo cotton rat wings by the dozen and drank beer–yeah, that would work out just fine. . . . . David, Sf.G.
The General, reporting to the Armed Services Committee and known to be quite “hawkish,” had categorically stated “No comment at this time,” but there they were again, the stinking paparazzi, dogging him as he walked to his armored Hummer. Maybe his tail gunner could sort them out or at least generate a little respect. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Eugene was getting a little long in the tooth (beak?) for these boys’ nights out. Too much tequila, not enough sleep, and having to eat mice for breakfast. Maybe it was time he got married.. . . . David, Sf.G.
Henrietta had heard that Lady Gaga was seeking a protege, and she jumped at the chance. Lady Gaga’s music was better than OK, even if Henrietta didn’t agree with some of her lifestyle choices, but the thought of getting to dispose of her meat dresses after performances and appearances had a certain allure for the winged carnivore. So much easier than chasing down cotton rats, snakes and voles. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Eustace was beginning to think that a balanced diet was largely influenced by one’s perspective–the first lady encouraged fruit such as apples, cherries, and melon, and vegetables like cabbage or green beans as part of a balanced diet. From his view, a balanced diet was getting the right mix of field mice, cotton rats, snakes, frogs and the odd vole, and while he conceded that his diet might be a little protein heavy, he felt the fact that most of his diet choices were vegetarian themselves should count for something. . . . . David, Sf.G.
After getting his degrees in animal husbandry and ranch science from the University of Phoenix (on line), Chick had applied for and gotten a Federal grant to try to raise native prairie dogs to feed hungry raptors and coyotes. He wished there was a way to prevent those stupid cows and the horses from stepping on some of his little herd; it not only ruined a good meal, it drew those loathsome vultures . . . . David, Sf.G.