Pokémon Reject
Boudreaux was wild about Pokemon Go; he applied to be the newest Pokémon character, but was told Pokémon was short for Pocket Monster, and not even Texas had pockets that big . . .
Pending Civil Rights Lawsuit
Quincy’s offer to guard the ponds at Disney World was rejected–they said he might scare the children–His lawyer said they would file a discrimination lawsuit . . .
MythBusters
Westley, trying to launch an online version of MythBusters, chose to check the urban myth that alligators had no tonsils . . .
Exfoliating
As part of the weekend spa package Jill had given herself after dumping her useless football-watching, beer-drinking boyfriend, she’d been told that the mud bath was good for exfoliating the dead skin and rejuvenating her dry, cracked, scaly skin, but she didn’t think it was working . . .
They All Taste About the Same to Me
When the pollster asked Cletus whether he preferred the Democrats or the Republicans, he said, “Near as I recall, they all taste about the same . . .”
Plenty of Hot Sauce
When asked which of the Democratic clients he would prefer, Bubba said either, just include lots of hot sauce and pickles . . .