Dino had shipped his resume and photo to several of the Hollywood studios, trying for the next new apocalyptic/monster movie, offering himself to play the monster. When he went to the studios to try out for the part, the director said, “You’re awfully small.” Dino couldn’t help himself and blurted out, “So is Tom Cruise!”
When Troy tried to kiss his girlfriend goodnight, her reaction was startling–was it bad breath? Or was it something he said? His lawyer encouraged him to sue someone for alienation of affection . . .
Jeremy had seen it all at the “Petting Zoo”–first, they changed his name to “Bullwinkle,” then they fed him hay instead of letting him browse on willow and underwater plants, then talked about and discarded an idea to saddle him to give undisciplined kids rides, and now were thinking of having him play a camel. He found himself humming the old Jackson Brown song line, “Doctor, my eyes . . .”
Ozzy was trying to hide from Belinda, his girl friend–he had stood her up and entirely missed their date. It had been accidental, he hadn’t meant to, but after watching the ball game with his buddies and having a couple of beers, he had fallen asleep in the big futon. Not knowing he had a date, his buddies just let him sleep. Why couldn’t this brush be a little taller . . .?
LaVerne really liked the old Three Stooges films, but he did wish his friends didn’t feel they had to call him “Curly” . . .
Sadly, Joel had to part with his new pet, Bruce. The apartment manager cited lack of house training, but unspoken was the matter of the missing Jones cat, the disappearance of ChiChi (the Shi Tzu), and one of the Martinez kids not making it home from school . . .
