Southern girls had long been known for implementing the musical and lyrical “Upspeak”–ending a sentence on an upward lilt. Linguists had long wondered how this was done, but it seems that the secret may be biological rather than sociological.
Elmer was convinced that the key to a good home security system was good outside lighting. His wife was somewhat concerned about the potential rise in the power bill now that the new system was installed. . .
While it had not exactly been promised, “If you like your vet, you can keep your vet,” it had surely been inferred. Now Henri had a sore neck and found out that his Universal Health Care policy wouldn’t pay, that is, unless he was in the country illegally, in jail, or not working . . .
Yes, Beau was feeling kind of crabby. He had clawed his way to the top only to find his girlfriend was still just as shallow, grasping, and shellfish (er, selfish) as she had always been. Worse, she still kept talking to that little shrimp just to bait him. Seemed to him like there was something fishy going on, but every time he’d ask her about it she would just clam up, said if he didn’t like it to get some oyster (er again–other) girl . . .
Eldridge was going to the karaoke Elvis night and thought he had a good chance at winning the best Elvis in Galveston. He had Heartbreak Hotel and Jailhouse Rock down cold and a really lifelike deep, resonant “Thenk yew very much.” Did he get the hair right though . . . ?
Jerome, always the butt of the joke, had been told by his buddies at the local bar that if he just put his nose under water at the river, he could smell fish, and as the scent got stronger, the fish would be approaching, and he could catch them. It didn’t seem to be working all that well . . .
