Just Like Tom Cruise
When Kelly told his buds he was looking for a mate, they all said, “You’re just a little guy, won’t the girls notice?”
“So’s Tom Cruise; he does all right with the girls, and he’s only got 2 legs,” replied Kelly . . .
Dancing With the Stars
Ruthy (pictured) was over the top ecstatic; she had been accepted for Dancing With The Stars in a December Holiday showing. She had asked that her partner be Jonny Depp or Tom Cruise, or as a third choice, Matt Smith of The Crown, which shows on BBC. She had to remember that dancing with eight legs was going to complicate things. Most importantly, this was not mating, so she was not to eat her partner when the dance was done, right there on National TV . . .
Drought/Flood Conundrum
David, thinking outside the box, tried to figure out how to ship Texas’ excess flood water to California. Gov. Brown was receptive, but his constituency wanted to know if it was vegan; had it crossed borders legally; would it need Government help once it arrived, and did it qualify for ObamaCare? The nuts & bolts part–how to physically get it there–seemed to be lost somehow. The Libs worried a water pipeline might be used to move Texas oil to California. And who would they name it after–George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Cher, Lady Gaga? Gov. Brown was open, but the Californians were firm–NO BUSH . . .!
Short Guy
Dino had shipped his resume and photo to several of the Hollywood studios, trying for the next new apocalyptic/monster movie, offering himself to play the monster. When he went to the studios to try out for the part, the director said, “You’re awfully small.” Dino couldn’t help himself and blurted out, “So is Tom Cruise!”
War of the Worlds
Some evenings, as Esteban watched the Texas Gulf Coast sunset, he thought if they ever did a remake of War of The Worlds, here would be the place to do it. They wouldn’t need a lot of special effects, and he wanted to be the Tom Cruise character. . .
Biding His Time
Eugene’s agent had called and told him he had a gig for him, doing an advert for one of the political parties, but Eugene said no; he liked to think he took the long view and hang on for something with more long term promise. He was holding out for a part in some long running sit-com, even if his part was to be the comic relief character like Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi”. He really wanted to be the bad guy in a blockbuster playing opposite Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or Bruce Willis, one of the pretty boys or tough guys. He would have to rely on the “Special Effects” guys to help him hold, much less shoot, a pistol. Maybe he could learn to hold it sideways in his trunk like the gangstas . . . . David, Sf.G.