-
Gary (pictured) had had a tough night; first he heard that wrestling was fake, then that Lady Gaga was really a guy, that Oprah was retiring, and that Michael Jackson wasn't really dead but doing charity work in Haiti. The final straw had been the news report that Mike Pence had run off with Madonna and been elected to be prime minister of Israel. It seemed as though he was living in a web of deceit . . .
DNA Test
Albert was quite surprised–he had sent a DNA sample to Ancestry.com to find out who he was, and he was quite surprised to find he was 3% Cambodian, 11% Nigerian, and the rest Texican. No Musk Ox or Moose . . .
Dancing With the Stars
Anton (pictured) was tired of working long hours at Popeye’s Chicken for chump change. His girl friend told him he had beautiful eyes and should try out for “Dancing With The Stars;” maybe the close up shots would capture his dreamy eyes and make him a star . . .
Dancing With the Stars
Ruthy (pictured) was over the top ecstatic; she had been accepted for Dancing With The Stars in a December Holiday showing. She had asked that her partner be Jonny Depp or Tom Cruise, or as a third choice, Matt Smith of The Crown, which shows on BBC. She had to remember that dancing with eight legs was going to complicate things. Most importantly, this was not mating, so she was not to eat her partner when the dance was done, right there on National TV . . .
Not Invited to the Royals’ Wedding
Percy was miffed that they (the doves) were good enough to be released to fly heavenward as Harry and Meghan exited the church, but not good enough to enjoy the wedding party. Had bird seed costs in the UK gone that high . . .?
Social Media Withdrawal Symptoms
Eliza had dropped her iPhone, and the cell phone repair store told her it would be a week or more to get it repaired. That was only two days ago, and she was already having Social Media Withdrawal Symptoms; who knew how many E-mails, tweets, Snapchat posts and Instagram messages she had missed. She couldn’t afford a new hand held device–her boy friend suggested counselling . . .