Southern girls had long been known for implementing the musical and lyrical “Upspeak”–ending a sentence on an upward lilt. Linguists had long wondered how this was done, but it seems that the secret may be biological rather than sociological.
Ernest had been hired by the Governor to entice out-of-state businesses to relocate in Texas. The story was simple: Texas was tax friendly, business friendly, they had a good work force, nice climate, and the sunsets . . .
Bruce had just appeared one day and taken up duties as resident alligator. For months he could be seen, and if not in sight, a stone chunked into the pond alerted him that someone was looking for him. Then, overnight, he was gone. The sheriff had them file a missing gator report, an Amber alert was posted, he even got his picture on milk cartons, but he was gone. Some speculated that the lure of big money in the West Texas Oilfields or maybe the North Dakota oil jobs had been too much to resist. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Within minutes of spotting the double rainbow, NOAA experts showed up to study the phenomenon, the CIA came to make sure it wasn’t some spy device or leak of national security, the IRS came to see who, if anyone, found the pot(s) of gold at the end of the rainbow(s) to make sure the pot(s) of gold/rainbow tax was paid (not long term capital gains, ordinary income), a delegation from Congress came to see if the pots of gold could be used to balance the budget, and Al Gore came to explain that he invented rainbows, so any gold would be his. Finally, the President came to announce that there would be no permits issued for using rainbows as alternative fuel, and Eric Holder said since this was Texas, they would be suing either Texas or the rainbows, it wasn’t clear. All in all, it was a busy morning . . . . David, Sf.G.
Everyone told JoAnn that twins were a double blessing. After both had Whooping Cough at the same time, then both getting into poison ivy, then getting expelled from kindergarten fot trying to do Old MacDonald had a farm by passing gas (in two part harmony) for show and tell, she thought twins were not the blessing she had hoped for. . . . . David, Sf.G.
