Hudson, a native Texas Longhorn, thought rather than go into beef production (no long term prospects there), he would become the first “Cow Comedian,” but his jokes didn’t get much response from his fellow cows. He was trying to decide if they just weren’t funny, or if bovine reticence just made them a tough audience . . .
Twyla Jean said there was nothing she hated more than gossip, but she rationalized that if she “Heard It Through The Grapevine,” somehow that was different. Especially if she hummed the Marvin Gaye tune of the same name and ended with a reverent “Mmm…Mmm”…
When a group of cannabis-smoking, new age holistic mystics saw Lucy’s ears and head appear to be on fire, they approached the rancher and asked to buy her. The rancher told them no: It was just a trick of the light, she was wholly cow, not a holy cow, and besides, she had a calf to nurse . . .
In addition to being a Texas rancher, Billy Tom was an avid Star Trek fan, from the original with Captain Kirk to Jean-Luc Picard to Captain Janeway. As he watched his cattle, he was convinced that they might be part of some Borg-like collective–it took twenty cows to reach a combined total of 100 IQ points, so no one of them did anything on their own. But was the group’s collective intelligence planning on taking over the world, like with “Cows with Guns” . . .? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI
After a little research on the Internet, Leroy (black, far right) had found that there were two kinds of cow years–Mama cows and milkers as well as herd bulls lived about 80 cow years that equated to about 15 human years, but “market cattle” crammed all 80 cow years into about two human years. As he approached his second year and second round up, he was more than a little concerned which cow years he would live . . .
Howie was so embarrassed; he thought that the young lady who called him over to the fence was the vet, coming to check on his sinus problem. Turns out it was just Jordan, the girl who loved cows, wanting to say hello. He hadn’t meant to be a snot . . . . . David, Sf.G.
