Bad Move
Hank had done his best not to stick his tongue out while swimming, but it was a nervous habit he had a hard time controlling, especially when the hot girls were there. And yes, someone had peed in the pool. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Born for Politics
Bertram was glad he had decided to major in political science; his counselor told him he was a natural–he could get down with the lowest of the low and be comfortable, his ability to slither was unparalleled, he had naturally cold hard eyes that revealed nothing, and he was blessed with a natural forked tongue. . . . . . David, Sf.G.
Hard Times for Country Boys
Quincy (not his real name–he doesn’t have one) had heard about all of the jobs in Texas, but they were all in the city–it was still hard times for country boys. It was hard sometimes just to keep his head above water . . . . . David, Sf.G.
Naming contest: Quincy is an assumed name; his mother left before he was hatched, so he was never given a name. Please send us your name suggestions for our little guy (he’s about 3 1/2′ and lives in our front yard pond). One point–we aren’t really sure if Quincy’s a boy or girl–he/she refused to sign the consent form for a more thorough examination. And just because a famous personality may be using a name, doesn’t mean we wouldn’t consider it. The winner will be chosen based on quixotic desire and whimsey, no logic will be employed in the final choice. The winner will get a copy of my Gulf Coast Photo Tour, which is about 400 photos like those you see in the AGR everyday, but all are from our areas of the Texas Gulf Coast. To send your name suggestions, just hit reply or send it to [email protected]. AGR now has about 300 regular subscribers.
David Mortenson
Water Pollution
Candace had just had a nice meal of cotton rats and thought she would lie in the warm waters of the creek and relax. Soon, though, the EPA was there, citing her for not having a downstream discharge license after recycling those cotton rats. . . . . David, Sf.G.
Jersey Shores Roller Derby
Consuelo had to smile when she thought about her new job on a cable tv reality show, “Jersey Shores Roller Derby”. The pilot show was going to have Snookie, Paris Hilton, and the Jersey Shores Girls pitted against the Kardashians and their Hollywood Crowd. Little did the Kardashians know: Consuelo was the Jersey Shores’ secret weapon to be brought in as a replacement when needed. Consuelo was pretty sure she would be the only one with Alligator skin skates. . . . . David, Sf.G.
The Right Stuff
Princeton, Harvard, Yale–they would all be ok, but first, the right prep school; and first of all, the right pre-school. On NYNY’s Upper West Side, the competition for the right pre-school was fierce, but Hector’s parents were prepared for any fight, would pay any price–they’d do what it took so that their son had the right stuff when he applied for University.. . . . . David, Sf.G.