Size is Against Him
After Charlie saw the news clip about the Florida man using an alligator to get beer at a Quik Stop, he wondered if his gator would work–Nope! Too big to get through the door! Plus, the gator demanded his share of the beer . . .
Licorice Lover
Herman (pictured, not the “German”) loved licorice, but it turned his tongue black on a regular basis. This occasioned no end of teasing from friends and family, and his girlfriend wouldn’t kiss him when he had black tongue; she suggested he switch to chocolate, pointing out that a) it didn’t discolor his tongue, and b) chocolate, along with beer and pizza, was one of the three essential food groups . . .
Fickle
Jay concluded that the girls were fickle–last spring when he was a baby, they fawned over him, raving about how cute he was. Now that his one antler was smaller than the other, they didn’t want to talk to him, much less date . . .
Ear Job
Kammi had always wanted to be a Jackrabbit, but she didn’t have the ears. When she heard that humans got “nose jobs” and other “jobs” to enhance certain body parts, she wondered if she should live the dream and get an “Ear Job . . .”
Laying Low
After raiding his cousin’s winter nut stash, Kenny was laying low . . .
Social Media Withdrawal Symptoms
Eliza had dropped her iPhone, and the cell phone repair store told her it would be a week or more to get it repaired. That was only two days ago, and she was already having Social Media Withdrawal Symptoms; who knew how many E-mails, tweets, Snapchat posts and Instagram messages she had missed. She couldn’t afford a new hand held device–her boy friend suggested counselling . . .