DNA Test
Albert was quite surprised–he had sent a DNA sample to Ancestry.com to find out who he was, and he was quite surprised to find he was 3% Cambodian, 11% Nigerian, and the rest Texican. No Musk Ox or Moose . . .
Cow Jazzercise
Melinda just wasn’t having any success in motivating the cow Jazzercise class; she finally called them sluggish, fumbling oafs . . .
Easy Peasy
When little Kendall asked his mother about life, she said, “it’s easy peasy: eat, drink, eliminate waste (this requires no conscious effort) and sleep; easy peasy. She thought they would have the “Where’s the beef?” discussion later . . .
Face Lift, Sort Of . . .
With doctors able to transplant corneas, hearts, and other major organs, and do cosmetic and facial reconstructive surgery, Eloise was very unhappy to learn the docs couldn’t do a cat face transplant so she could be the next new super hero film star . . .
Bite the Hand That Feeds Her
Bite the hand that feeds her? There were two reasons: first they never gave her a Big Mac or corn dog, just hay and oats; and second, they named her Koochi-Koochi . . .
Disenfranchised
Clarence felt disenfranchised–In his State of The Union address, the President didn’t mention anything about bovine rights reform, and the opposition did nothing to call him on it . . .