A selection of Various Birds
J.J. Watt Goes Into a Bar
J. J. Watt (giant blond Texans star) goes into a bar with a big parrot on his shoulder. “Where did you get him?” asks the bartender.
“Wisconsin,” said the parrot . . .
Selfie 12 Step Program
Konstantin was trying to write a new 12 step “Big Book” for selfie addicts. He was having trouble focusing, as he kept taking selfies of himself for the book cover, Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, the AMA, and of course to send to every e-mail address that came to him from friends who didn’t blind copy their friends . . .
Elvis/Viva Las Vegas
Gerard was ready for the Elvis Viva Las Vegas look-a-like contest. He had the hair down, the hip shuffle, everything but the sequined jumpsuit. Well, he’d just have to wing it . . .
Always Talking Down
Judy hated it when her husband Ken always talked down to her at social gatherings just because he was a lofty nuclear physicist and she a humble micro biologist. This led her to begin work on a new humility virus she was going to test on him, and then send to all politicians, sports stars, movie and TV stars and the Hollywood/music crowd disguised as Jelly Belly jelly beans . . .
Community Organizer
Consuelo billed herself as a community organizer, social activist, and advocate for the downtrodden, but just didn’t feel like she was getting the respect she deserved; first nothing in Ferguson, then a washout out in Baltimore–how did a girl get noticed . . . ?
Out on a Limb–Again!
Gary hated to admit it, but buying the custom wheels, tires, and the 12,000 LB winch for his Jeep with what should have been covered with his tax refund check had put them out on a financial limb again. They got a notice of audit instead of a check . . .