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The turtles--the real turtles--were suing the turtle doves for trademark infringement. Turtles, not some silly bird, had the name first and adding it to some flighty creature without a shell was demeaning . . .
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When Stacy-Sue's ex-boyfriend was asked why she called herself the "Selfie Queen", he said it's because she can't spell narcissistic . . .
Soap and Water
Siegfried’s (right) girl dumped him, citing personal hygiene (or lack of it) as the reason. Just swimming isn’t enough, she said, a little soap and scrubbing were needed . . .
Slip Sliding Away . . .
Kendall knew he was a Red-eared Slider, but he was trying to figure out the slider part–his 401K or his health . . .
New Pool Guy
In spite of the kid being the son of a good friend who needed the pool maintenance job for university tuition, it just wasn’t working out; Greg was just going to have to fire the kid and get a new pool guy . . .