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It was that time of the year in Montana--the bull elk were in love--for that matter, so were the cows--but everyone was waiting on the law firm to deliver the prenuptial agreements for signature. As usual, the lawyers were late, but this group had been through the heartbreak of acrimonious divorces before & didn't want to end up on TV with Judge Judy presiding, & in the end losing everything while the reality TV junkies hooted and laughed . . .
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Bill was offered big money to do toothpaste commercials--he declined. The last gators he saw on TV were in the Swamp People shows, and those gators went from sparkly teeth to suitcases, boots, and purses . . .
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For years, the trained guard/attack creatures had been sufficient for home security. And then Reality Television came along . . .
Pink is the New Green
Lola found out the hard way that blooming too early or too late was punishable with jail time in a number of countries, including hers. Always one to make lemonade out of lemons, she quickly, before incarceration, sold a reality cable show on the concept and a pilot of “Pink Is The New Green” . . .
Identity Crisis
The girls decided that they were facing an identity crisis– they weren’t blue enough to be left wing or red enough to be right wing, they didn’t like the “Rhino” tag at all or being associated with a children’s program’s squishy, fuzzy dinosaur, and they weren’t interested in promoting the Prince “Purple Rain” CD. Maybe they could start a reality show and be the Kardashians of the flower world–famous for being famous . . .
Duck Dynasty
Gwen, Sylvan, and Thomas were miffed on two accounts: First, not being language experts, they had mistaken the name of the popular TV show to be saying Ducks Die Nasty, which seemed to bring an undeserved bad name on ducks; second: how did that dumb TV show about ducks, not have any ducks in some sort of starring role or at least a cameo appearance?. . . . David, Sf.G.