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Howard was getting a sore throat from all of the mate-attracting noise and displays; couldn't he just download a lizard dating app and get on with things . . .?
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Hubert, a newby in his first time in state politics, heard he was being called "Green". He didn't know if the stinking paparazzi thought he was just inexperienced or that he had bought into the "New Green Deal . . ."
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Clinton had always believe the best way to succeed in mating season was to look sharp--bathed and well-groomed--but the razor burn from shaving was pretty daunting . . .
Not a Shape Shifter
Lizard’s Laws of Survival: “Change color, blend in.” Gary could blend in green, like grass, but he wasn’t a shape shifter, and he was still on a branch . . .
Fast Tanner
When offered UVA and UVB sun block, Herbert said, “Never mind, I’m a fast tanner–let the melanin take care of it . . .
Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest
His friends thought competing in Nathan’s Annual Hot Dog (Called Tubular Tenderloins by mystery meat gourmets) Eating Contest was stupid; Harry could never win. But Harry had been working on a secret weapon . . .